at first ill blame those who claim to be my friends.. then i realise.. they are not the ones at fault..
its me..
its my fault for thinking the way i think..
its my fault for expecting too much from others
like i said before
there are people who seek a conversation...and those who wait for a conversation.
i guess im a seeker...
it makes me feel like im needy..one big attention seeking motherfather gentleman..but no its fine.
i must accept this.
BECAUSE
if i try to wait for a conversation,....ill be more sad/paranoid/irritated....
i mean if u were born to start then why not rite? y get emo over something ur not?
i really need to shake off the reliance on others to notice me lah.. in short.. people whom i think i care the most, i feel close too, they may or may not leave u in the end...
so why not just enjoy the ride while it lasts rite???
WHY am i constantly sad.affected by when nobody notices or talks to me :(
intentionally not talking...so as to let someone start.. only to be disappointed time and time and time again....
STOP hurting urself leh ikhy.. not worth it...
stop telling urself u need ur friends attention all the time..... cannot rely on people emotionally too much ..
that being said.. i guess what im looking for is technically not a gf per se...but rather more of the companion time of person.
One i can confide in and tell my troubles without getting judge... i guess i lack this now it seems..
or maybe i know of people who are trying to do so..but im just not letting them in ;(
or maybe i know of people who are trying to do so..but im just not letting them in ;(
so main problem: dont expect things to happen when u dont know anythhing....
life is much better if u start.. who cares if ur friend aint bother to talk to you... the have their own lives rite.. cant tell them shit.
OKays new plan: 1) stop trying so hard... maybe tell them once twice ur opinion..dont get too involved..
2) stop hurting urself can :(L(
easy to say ,,,but hard to do...
k thanks bye
